


Why do I stay up until 12 am every single day, do I regret this? Yes I do

by Sylvalum, tekina_fiction



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Crack, Existential Crisis, Fanfic Writer Solidarity, Gen, Other, Salt, YOU BETTER DO THIS TEK, there is not a single shred of seriousness in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-10 15:53:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15952613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sylvalum/pseuds/Sylvalum, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tekina_fiction/pseuds/tekina_fiction
Summary: Arctii’s contemplations on life.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> ;)  
> tek, it was you who made me do this. take responsibility.

It is 2 AM, Monday, and the night blankets the endless Finnish forest with silence. From floor two of a house built in this dark forest shines a light out through a balcony door– _why_? It is appalling. Who is this fool, sitting up all night? Only writers are this stupid; of course it’s a writer. She hasn’t updated her story in three months, it’s 2 AM and she has yet to do her homework, and she is ready to give up, lie down, and embrace the void.

Her bag is on the floor, spilling books, and her computer is on, without even being _used_. She is doodling on her math homework, watching a movie she has seen 6 times already, and a mildly creepy smile is fixed on her face. She feels only a single emotion: regret.

At least she’s got English tomorrow.


	2. Prologue of the Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tekina quotes King, “Kick Names, Take Ass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> done and done my darling beed ;)

The bells at 3:00 pm ring out the sound of glorious American freedom, then students spill into the halls, and cascade down the floors.  
  
But one lone student recedes from the crowd and bails for the Information Commons. Because it’s quiet and peaceful and you can actually concentrate. Tekina sits on a cushioned couch and hoists their backpack next to them. Two hours before their father comes in his newly bought car. Two hours of the potential do to whatever the hell you want. Two hours to complete homework, so when at home they can do absolutely nothing with their life. 

And what better way to start homework by loading up their Chromebook and going on Discord?

Because, yes, going on Discord is the guaranteed way to complete those MLA essays that you procrastinated on for four weeks. Tekina could not be more proud of themself. They are the true epitome of student chivalry.

They breathe in and crack their knuckles.

It’s time to get this fanfic collab done. It’s been four months in the works. It’s time to end their suffering, as well as their partner’s. Fanfiction is Very Important Homework.

They click on their DMS. 

* * *

**tekina fiction Today at 3:16 PM**

i am ready... for writing...

but... i am doing it while doubletasking with homework

you up for it?

 

**Arctic Today at 3:16 PM**

i... also have hw

* * *

Well.

* * *

  **tekina fiction Today at 3:16 PM**

>:O

bitch what the fuck

go work

wait ITS 11 THERE

ARCTII WHAT THE FUCK

 

**Arctic  Today at 3:16 PM**

CHILL

IT'S UNDER CONTROL

 

**tekina fiction Today at 3:16 PM**

really

 

**Arctic Today at 3:17 PM**

...

 

**tekina fiction Today at 3:17 PM**

did you finish it

>:(

 

**Arctic Today at 3:17 PM**

i

haven't begun

 

**tekina fiction Today at 3:17 PM**

arctii

when is it due

arctii why

 

**Arctic Today at 3:18 PM**

for tomorrow but its fine its not 12 yet

 

**tekina fiction Today at 3:18 PM**

...

arctii

:)

go to bed

 

**Arctic Today at 3:18 PM**

no

got hw

:)

 

**tekina fiction Today at 3:19 PM**

god

god fucking dammit

 

**Arctic Today at 3:19 PM**

welcome to finland, where hw is done at midnight

 

**tekina fiction Today at 3:20 PM**

DO YOUR WORK

 

**Arctic Today at 3:20 PM**

I AM

 

**tekina fiction Today at 3:20 PM**

YOU BETTER DO

* * *

They shut their Chromebook with a dead smile on their face.

There’s been a change of plans.


	3. Chapter 1: Arctii uses Google Translate at least 5 times a day oh the horror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At least I don't drink coffee.

The summer of 2018: Arctii’s only two emotions:

  1. What? – frequently confused, tired for no reason, frequently saying “what?”
  2. SALT – often annoyed. At anything, nothing, and also everything.



(and the secret third emotion: _is this… happiness?)_

There is a Thing Which Should Be Done By Now, which is to say there’s a story. There’s always a story left unfinished, and it stays unfinished, and then there’s the next story, and the next, and all those unfished messed blur together, clumping together into a folder containing a despairing 136 files. Sometimes Arctii hovers her cursor over one of those documents that say “last touched 2016”, and she sighs and thinks really hard at it.

They are the sad unfortunate files that are never opened, left to collect dust.

Meanwhile the prodigal kids, a.k.a. the multichapters currently feeding on the last scraps of Arctii’s sanity, are looming on her To-Do-List.

She opens up her story, and sees the review:

**Chapter 11 . Aug 27**

**Guest:** Plz update

 

* * *

 

Arctii looks into her heart, and asks herself: _is any of this relevant to the fucking plot or am I worldbuilding to stave off actually doing any writing_

 

* * *

 

**Arctii’s Google Search History:**

  * Translate
  * O frabjous day callooh callay meaning
  * Fancy cat breeds
  * Marshmallows
  * Post mortem
  * Homer Simpson melting into a bush gif
  * Translate
  * Canvas shoes




	4. UwU

 

 [](https://tekina-fiction.tumblr.com/)

 

[tekina-fiction](https://tekina-fiction.tumblr.com/)

*slaps you and proceeds to chuck you down the stairs*

 

im not making out with you anymore

 

we're breaking up

 

 

[  ](https://arctic-disaster.tumblr.com/)

[arctic-disaster](https://arctic-disaster.tumblr.com/)

but i wuve you ;w;

 

 

[  ](https://tekina-fiction.tumblr.com/)

[tekina-fiction](https://tekina-fiction.tumblr.com/)

i don't no more

 

your love is unrequited add that to the shitpost fic

 

i will never love you uwu

 

* * *

 

Tragedies such as this happen often, are always happening, all around the globe. But a tragedy is still a tragedy, no matter how common it is.


	5. It's only getting worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ;)

**fekina tiction Today at 10:07 PM**

you can’t make me kiss you again

theres nothing you can do to change my mind

 

**sarcastic artflowers Today at 10:08 PM**

whatever shall i do now.... 

 

**fekina tiction Today at 10:08 PM**

kiss a dead corpse to revive it back to life a la 06

 

**sarcastic artflowers Today at 10:09 PM**

 *thinking*

 

**fekina tiction Today at 10:09 PM**

wait

dont even think about it

 

**sarcastic artflowers Today at 10:09 PM**

chapter five of the shitpost:

 

**fekina tiction Today at 10:10 PM**

nO

NO

NOONONONONONNOONOONONNONONONONOONOONNOONONONNONONONONONNONOONOONONONONONONONO

 

 

* * *

 

_Once upon a time..._

 

Arctii's existential crisis was rising to levels never seen before, thy a great tragedy had struck the fair land of fandom sanctuary: the beloved Tek (ahem, _Fek_ ) had perished.

 

There was but one thing to do. There was an old, old tale, a tale of the kiss of a princess which was said to give you back the glorious gift of life in a blaze of golden light. And though Arctii was nothing but a procrastinating writer, there was no other choice than this, a futile effort to revive a friend so dear...

 

Arctii gently lifted the beloved Tek up from their resting place, dipping them and giving them a smooch.

 

...and Tek's eyes fluttered open, and so it was that peace was restored to the beautiful lands of fandom sanctuary along with the life of their Godden, and they all lived happily ever after.


End file.
